


Once Upon a Dream

by anarchycox



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Get together fic, Magic, deaged avengers, it was all a dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: The Avengers all joke around and call Phil Dad. They are hit with a magic curse that picks up on this. It deages the avengers and makes them all believe that Phil is in fact their Dad. And Pepper, the woman he is quietly in love with, is their mom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a mix between a deage and dream fic.  
> Ages:  
> Phil 50  
> Pepper 44
> 
> Bruce 19  
> Tony 16  
> Bucky 14  
> Steve 13  
> Clint 9  
> Natasha 4

“Dammit Clint do not jump off that building, help is on the way.” Phil said sternly into the comms.

“Sorry, Dad, but what can you do?” Clint said.

“Dad?” Tony asked over the lines.

Phil groaned. Clint had jokingly called Phil Dad for years, usual when he felt Phil was being too cautious. It was said a little more sincerely whenever he woke up in a hospital to see Phil sitting beside him.

But they had managed to keep their little joke off of the Avenger’s radar until now. He wasn’t sure even Natasha knew about it. And now they had all heard it.

Maybe, Tony wouldn’t make it a thing.

******************************

Tony made it a thing.

A “World’s Best Dad” mug appeared for him, and so did slippers and the Saturday paper. Phil actually didn’t mind that, to be fair.

But he did mind his SHIELD SUV being replace with a minivan and everyone deciding to call him Dad during a meeting.

He had at least thought maybe Steve would be on his side, and after Tony had whined about Dad being no fun, Steve had put on his serious face and Phil was hopeful.

“Now Tony, you know Father only has our best interests at heart.” Steve smiled at that.

“Suck up.” Bucky coughed.

Bruce was the only one not to call him Dad.

“Yeah because he’s too ‘cool’ and ‘adult’ to play with the rest of us.” Tony muttered.

Bruce ignored him. Bruce didn’t do it, because he realized that it was starting to bother Clint, that his thing had be co-opted by the team. He didn’t like Clint being sad, and the big guy really didn’t like upset Clint.

Phil was cooking when he heard the clatter of heels on tile. “Pepper, you came for dinner?” He smiled a little, always pleased to see the only other sane person in this madhouse.

“Hmmm, Tony seems to have finally forgiven me.” Pepper came over and began to dice vegetables.

“He had nothing to forgive.” Phil said staunchly. He turned to look at her. “You two, you are great friends and love each other and it didn’t work out and that was a shame, but it was life. You’ve always been welcome here.”

“I know, I do.” Pepper smiled. She added the broccoli to the wok, “How many are we feeding tonight?”

“Most of the group. Thor is visiting Jane and Sam is at the VA.” Phil checked on the rice. “Glass of wine?” Pepper nodded and he poured her some.

“Hey Dad, when’s dinner ready? I’m hungry.” Tony whined. “Oh hey Pep.”

“Dad?” Pepper said quietly.

“It’s a thing, it won’t die. And you can steal a couple carrot bits, it won’t be ready for a few more minutes.” Phil dropped the wontons into the fryer.

“But I’m hungry now.” Tony put on the worst teen voice ever.

“Well, if you ate reasonable meals, you wouldn’t have this problem.” Phil said sharply, tired of it all.

Pepper touched his shoulder briefly, softly. “Tony, how about you get out some plates and chopsticks.”

“But I don’t wanna.”

“Listen to your mother.” Phil turned and pointed his spoon at Tony. “And no dessert for sassing.”

The three of them froze.

“Well this is awkward. I’m getting pizza in the lab.” Tony decided running away seemed reasonable.

Phil pulled the wontons out and set them on some paper towels. He stirred the vegetables rather vigorously.

Pepper topped up his wine glass. “That was impressive.” she teased.

“He just…” Phil sighed. “It was a joke of Clint’s and then everyone found out and I haven’t had a single break. Dad can I, But Dad. On and on.” Phil looked at her. “I somehow, a man who can fight off alien gods, find myself trying to figure out if I can ground them.”

“Did you ever want to be a parent?” Pepper moved seamlessly around Phil, plating food to serving dishes.

“Yeah, but this job.” he shrugged. “What about you?”

“Not really, plus I had Tony.” she joked. Pepper bumped her shoulder against Phil’s. “Who needs more than that right?”

“I hear you.” Phil put a heat pad down and put the wok in the middle of the table. “JARVIS tell everyone food is ready.” He grabbed his glass of wine and clinked it against Pepper’s. “So you’ve moved on from Tony?” he asked aiming for casual, but it fell a little flat.

“Well, I’m not sure you move on from Tony, but I have been on a few dates. Nice men, little boring after everything I’ve gotten used to.” Pepper smiled as Phil held out a chair for her.

“What if I knew someone, competent, good manners, not too boring. Would you maybe like to meet them for drinks sometime?” Phil sat across from her.

Before she could answer everyone streamed and started grabbing food. It was absurdly loud and Pepper didn’t have a chance to respond.

After a bit, Tony walked in with a pizza. “Thanks for ordering me a pizza, Dad.”

Phil sighed and Clint frowned and Pepper leaned over, “At least he isn’t saying Daddy.” she winked and Phil groaned and kicked her under the table. He left his foot against hers.

Phil paused a wonton almost at his mouth. “I didn’t order you a pizza Tony.” His eyes widened as Tony opened the top. “Tony don’t -”

It was all Phil managed before a blinding light poured out of the box and knocked everyone unconscious.

***********************************

Phil stretched and snuggled into the covers. He had a feeling he should get up. The sun was starting to rise and it was quiet. Not the best combo ever. Usually by now there should be some noise. He really should investigate. He begins to move the covers back.

“Don’t.” she whispered. “We can pretend we have normal kids that have decided to just sleep in.” her hand tugged his wrist and he fell back into his pillows and she curled into him, her hand on his shoulder.

“Tony’s quiet. That’s not good.”

“Bucky might have just hogtied and gagged him.” Pepper offered. She began to rub circles on Phil’s stomach.

“Mmmm, that would be nice.” Phil agreed. He kissed her head. “How much alone time do you think we might have?” 

Pepper began to circle her hand lower. “Hopefully just enough.” she slid her hand into his boxers and their door slammed open.

“Bruce comes home for a visit today!” Clint shouted. “He’s coming home, he’s coming home, he’s coming home!”

Pepper moved her hand away and Phil debated sending all their kids to boarding school. “We knock Clint, remember?” Phil reminded him for the 80th time.

“Didn’t you hear, Bruce is coming home!” Clint ran down the halls cheering.

Phil was hopeful they could maybe get back to what they were doing, but he could feel eyes on him. He looked at the doorway and saw just the edge of a blanket.

He sighed dramatically. “I’m so glad we are alone Mommy.”

Pepper smiled at how he pitched his voice. “Oh, and why is that Daddy?”

“Because now I can enact my fiendish plot to tickle you without mercy!” Phil went right for Pepper’s elbows, the soft skin at the crux a huge vulnerable spot for her.

Pepper began to giggle. “Someone save me!” she shouted through her giggles.

“I’ll save you!” Natasha shouted and ran into the room, blanket flying like a superhero cape behind her. She leapt onto the bed and landed a knee to Phil’s kidney. 

  
He groaned. “Whoops.” Pepper whispered but she was laughing. Phil let himself be captured by his wife and his baby and admitted defeat when Natasha dug her little fingers into his ribs that was more pain than tickle.

“No school today right?” Natasha asked. “Because Bruce comes home!” her r on Bruce came out more like a w.

“No school today, because this was a week you just went on Tuesday, Thursday.” Phil reminded her. “Now do you want to help me with breakfast?”

“Mommy.”

“Mommy needs to get ready for work, baby.”

“Mommy.” Natasha glared at him.

“Would you like to pick out my jewelry for today sweetie?” Pepper asked.

“Yes please.” Natasha smiled smugly at her father. 

Phil just shook his head and got out of bed. He threw on his robe. “Fine, fine.” He made his way down to the kitchen where Tony was staring at the coffee maker, like it held the secrets to the universe. “Tell me you got your contractually obligated sleep.”

“Full four hours Dad.” The machine beeped and Tony poured a 16 oz cup.

Phil took it out of his hand. “Thank you, son.” He gave Tony the 10oz cup.

“This is a war crime.”

“You’ll stunt your growth.”

“That’s a myth.” 

“Eat a banana, you need the potassium.” Phil began to crack some eggs, being Friday he decided to do a little more than toast and cereal. “Excited for Bruce’s visit?”

“Whatever.” Tony muttered.

“Tony?” Phil turned from his whisking. “You two are thick as thieves.”

Tony just shrugged. “Mr. University’s been busy. And it’s fine, I’m busy too. I almost have that robot done.”

“When you get home from school, I can help you with it.” Phil offered.

“Oh you mean that prison of unlearning you send me to?”

Phil sighed a little. “Tony, it isn’t a punishment.”

“I could be in university already!” Tony shouted in a familiar refrain. “I’m smart enough - MIT has already made offers.”

“And we’ve let you skip ahead, you are doing senior work and will be off next year.”

“I hate you.” Tony stormed off to the backyard to his workroom.

“Of course you do.” Phil said to himself, shoulders slumping as he poured eggs into the pan.

“I don’t hate you, Dad.” Steve offered from the doorway where Tony had slammed past him.

“Tony didn’t hurt you as he went by?”

“Daaaaad.” Steve huffed and sat on one of the stools.

“What? You are just over being sick.”

“I’m always sick.” Steve smiled though.

“Not always.” Phil teased. “I’m pretty sure there was a Tuesday last month, you were right as rain.” He stirred the eggs and smiled. “And I think you are do for a growth spurt soon.”

“Like Bucky?”

“Like Bucky.” Phil agreed. Bucky had hit a growth spurt in the last few months and they had to buy him all new clothes. In black. So much black. They had skipped emo or goth with Bruce and Tony but it seemed to have grabbed Bucky hard.

Sure enough he walked in, all in black, the hair he had been growing out in his eyes, that had eyeliner. “That better not be your mother’s good make up.”

“She bought me my own.” Bucky muttered. He sat beside Steve. “You didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I’m fine. Just some bad dreams.” Steve said easily. “Dad, I’m going to be home late, Peggy asked me to help her make posters for her student council campaign. Her dad will pick us up and drop me off.”

“Just remember Bruce should be home for dinner.”

“I’ll be back by then.”

“Good.” Phil added some pepper to the eggs. “And Bucky I know you didn’t just use the butter knife to scratch under your cast. And I’m sure you just forgot the sling.” Steve and Bucky both froze. He wasn’t even looking at them! How did he always know?

“I hate the sling.” Bucky complained.

“Doc said two more weeks.” Phil reminded him. He cleaned his hands on a dishtowel and went over to a bag he had. He pulled out a black scarf with skulls on it that he had tied a hard knot in. “Try this out.”

Bucky smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Get everyone for breakfast.” Phil got plates down.

“EVERYBODY BREAKFAST!” Bucky yelled and Steve snorted a laugh as their Dad threw the dirty dishtowel at Bucky.

“I’ll go get Tony.” Steve hopped down. He gave Clint a hair ruffle as they past.

Phil decided not to say anything about Clint wearing one of Bruce’s shirt, the sleeves rolled about 10 times to fit.

“Mom and Natasha coming.” 

Clint pulled a glass of juice over. “Yup. I should stay home today.”

“And why is that?”

“I can help you clean for Bruce.”

“The house is clean enough.” Phil countered.

“We need cupcakes for Bruce.” Clint said. “And a sign. And maybe a band.”

“You’ll be home from school in plenty of time to make a sign.” Phil smiled. “Nice try.”

Clint pouted. 

“There are cookies in your lunch.” Phil promised and that perked his boy up. “Are you sure your mom and Natasha are coming down?”

“Yup. Natasha’s speaking with a Russian accent again.” Clint put too much ketchup on his eggs. “Awww, bottle, no.” Steve helpfully scooped some onto his plate even though he hated the stuff.

Bucky came in, yanking Tony along, who just slumped at the table and clutched his coffee.

“I present to you, Mama.” Natasha said, sounding like a smug 4 year old cartoon villain.

Phil bit his lip. Pepper, looked of course gorgeous in her simple makeup and navy suit and heels that gave her inches on him.

And five necklaces and her wedding tiara that needed a really good polish.

“Eggs?” he asked. Clint helped Natasha up onto her booster seat.

“No, I have an early meeting.” she smiled. “I’ll bring home Bruce’s fav’s from the Lotus. Back by 6, promise.” she came over and gave Phil a kiss. “Remember last time I wore the tiara?”

He laughed a little and leaned into her. “That’s how we got Steve. So much for breastfeeding as birth control.”

“Ugh.” Tony rolled his eyes. “Can I have the car, if you are done being gross?”

“You can have the van, if you make sure everyone else gets to school. And you actually go to school and not the scrap yard for parks. I’d hate for you to not be able to show Bruce what you’ve been working on.” Pepper said sternly. 

Tony opened his mouth to complain but one look from Phil had him quiet. Pepper gave Phil another kiss and grabbed her briefcase, kissing various heads as she went.

“Dad, little weird that you watch Mom’s ass.” Bucky said.

“We have 6 of you, how is it a surprise?” Phil was unconcerned. Pepper was somehow more gorgeous than ever in her mid-forties.

“You aren’t aiming for 7 are you?” Tony asked in horror.

“No.”

“Could we get a puppy?” Clint asked.

Natasha turned her head sharply at the idea and nodded quickly.

“We can talk about that. Dishes in the sink, get your bags. Off my boys go.” Phil grinned. “Learn good things, don’t blow anything up Tony, Steve don’t start a fight, Bucky don’t end it for him. Clint boots on the ground.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Clint said. He tried to salute but Bruce’s sleeve flopped over his hand.

“Stow it, Hawkeye.” Phil said before he frowned. He had called Clint a million things before but not that. He shook it off and Natasha helped him load the dishwasher and soon it was just them. He sat her on the counter. “Now then, Daddy has about 2 hours of work to do, should I get it over and done with, or do it later when you get to watch a movie for afternoon quiet time?”

“Quiet time. We should make Bruce’s room nice.” Natasha said.

“We should.” Phil opened the closet and got out their matching cleaning scrubs, black and they said  _ death to dirt _ on the back. They put them on and went upstairs to the attic room. Natasha cleaned the baseboards and he opened the window and put fresh sheets on the bed. Natasha ran and came back with Mr. Dead Bunny, the stuffed animal that she had fallen in love with and he and Pepper thought a little too weird to buy her. Bruce had snuck it in.

“He’s had a roommate and might be lonely. Mr. Dead Bunny will help.”

“You are a very sweet girl.” Phil said. “Well this is good. We need to go to the grocery store and dry cleaners.”

“Mama has a lot of suits.”

“She does and looks amazing in each one.”

“You love Mama.”

“Very much.”

“Love is for children.”

Phil blinked. He must have misheard. “Mama loves you very much, yes.” He picked Natasha up and swung her around. “Come little miss, let us run our errands.”

They ran their errands and Phil did his work, Natasha curled on the chair in his home office, watching a movie on the family ipad. He enjoyed his small freelance accounting job. It was enough to bring in some vacation money, and keep his mind occupied. Pepper has said that there is a job waiting for him at the office whenever he wants, but not yet. Maybe when his little girl was in school full time.

He heard a loud bang that made Natasha jump and reached for his gun. His hand hovered in the air, why would he have a gun?

And it was just Tony slamming the door. Early. Phil went out and Bucky was putting his stuff away. “Hey Dad, they cancelled last classes of the day, pipe broke whole lower level started to flood. And before you ask, no none of us did it.”

“Maybe I wasn’t going to ask that.” 

“Dad, the sun will rise, and you will assume if something goes wrong it was one of us.”

“A little healthy suspicion has proven warranted.” he looked at the clock. “Still not fair that everyone else is out and Clint isn’t. Watch Natasha, while I go get him?”

“Sure.” Bucky said easily. “Squirt! I’m on you duty, and I’m counting to ten.” Natasha squealed and ran. Bucky was the best at hide and seek.

Phil hopped in the van and went to get Clint who was thrilled to be busted out an hour early. Clint insisted they stop and get craft supplies so he could make a sign and Phil figured he could survive some paint. It took Clint an hour to make the sign.

“That’s a lot of green and purple.” Phil said politely.

“Cause his and mine favourite colours.” Clint smiled. “It’s neat right? He’ll like it won’t he?”

“I’m sure he’ll love it.” Phil promised. “Let’s go hang it up on the door.” Phil grabbed some tape and they hung the welcome home sign up. It was very cheerful.

“How come Bruce doesn’t call as much?” Clint asked holding the sign carefully.

“Well, you can get very busy in university, and he’s made friends.”

“I’m his friend. He always says I’m his best bud.”

“You are.”

“Is Tony gonna be the same when he goes next year?”

“I don’t know.” Tony, Phil figured, would either be home all the time or never.

“When I’m big, I’m not going anywhere.” Clint promised. “You and Mom would be too lonely.”

Phil paused for a moment and thought about having all that alone time with his wife. Oh god it was a beautiful thought. “You are a sweet boy.” 

A car pulled up and Phil walked over. “Hey Michael.” he said to Peggy’s father.

“Hey Phil, hear big weekend for all of you.”

“Yup, Bruce finally coming home for a visit.” Phil smiled. “We on for golf next week?”

“You know it.” the man did finger guns and Phil’s brain supplied five ways to kill him. He had been watching too many action movies with Steve. 

“Bye Mr. Carter, bye Peggy.” Steve said closing the door. They drove off. “Bruce home yet?”

“No, his train is supposed to drop him in about 30 minutes and he insisted on a cab home, no pick up.” Phil grinned. “It’s almost like he thought we’d make a scene.”

“It would only be a minor scene.” Steve protested. “We’d be good.” He paused. “I’d be good.”

“I know.” Phil gave him a hug. “But don’t think I haven’t seen you egg the crazier factions on.”

Steve gave his best innocent face and Phil pushed him inside the house. Everyone was trying to act casual, sitting around the family room. Phil figured the kids looked at the clock 40 times a piece. 

“I’m waiting at the window, he’ll be here soon!” Clint jumped up and sat in the bay window, nose pressed to the glass. Natasha went and kept him company.

Steve and Bucky were talking and Tony pretended to play on his tablet, but the page hadn’t changed any in ten minutes. “Bruce is going to love what you’ve been working on.”

Tony shrugged. “The last few schematics I’ve sent, he just said they were great.”

“Well, I’m sure they were.”

Tony huffed. “No, Dad. You don’t get it. He always would give me notes. I don’t need him to patronize me, that’s what I have you and Mom for.”

Phil sighed internally. “Glad to be of service, son.”

“I said it wrong didn’t I?” Tony made a face.

“Pretty sure I know what you meant.”

“A cab.” Clint shouted. “OH, it’s going to Mr. Fury’s place. He’s mean.”

“He isn’t mean, he’s just…” Phil couldn’t come up with the right word, but all his kids were ignoring him, waiting for Bruce.

And waiting some more.

He was well past when they expected him.

“Train was on time.” Tony said softly, after looking it up. “Traffic all clear.”

“Maybe he stopped to pick something up.” Phil suggested.

Another 20 minutes and Clint was demanding they call hospitals and Natasha was trying not to be upset. Phil pulled her into a cuddle and looked at Steve who put a movie on. They all tried to focus on it.

“I have way too much food!” Pepper called out. She put it all on the dining room table which was set for a party. She realized though that the house was oddly quiet. She could just hear the murmur of the television. Pepper walked to the family room and expected to see a big puppy pile on the floor.

Phil was cuddling Clint and Natasha, and that was the extent of the cuddles. Tony was glowering at his screen in the corner, and Bucky looked murderous. Steve was sketching.

And no Bruce.

“Has he gone out?” Pepper asked. “I got his favourites.”

“He hasn’t been home yet.” Phil said. He tightened his grip on Clint when the boy made a sad puppy sound. 

“I’m going to the shed.” Tony got up.

“I have your chicken.” Pepper protested.

“Not hungry.” Tony brushed past her. They could all hear the door slam.

“I’m going to change and the rest of us can eat. I’m sure there is a good explanation.” 

Phil kissed his little ones and nudged them off his lap. “Be right back.” Bucky and Steve moved over to the couch to join the kids. Phil followed Pepper up to their bedroom. “He hasn’t even called or texted.” Phil leaned against the closed door. “The kids are all upset. He promised to come home and then got that summer placement and promised the end of August and nothing. 5 months, Pep.”

“And you didn’t stay away when you could?” Pepper slowly stripped off her suit and hung it up. “You didn’t spend time with your friends, with girls?”

“Bruce is different.”

“He’s 19.”

Phil shook his head. “He’s getting distant.”

Pepper put on jeans and an old t-shirt of Phil’s. He wouldn’t be distracted by how wonderful she looked. She came over and pulled him into a kiss. “It’s okay. Promise. Now come on, got you that orange beef you like.”

They brought the food into the family room, knowing that no one would want to sit at the decorated table. They were halfway through the food when the front door opened.

“Hello?”

Immediately Clint dumped his noodles and hopped over the back of the sofa. “Bruce.” he went running and skidded down the hall. He threw himself at his brother. “Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!”

Bruce held him tight. “You grew.”

Phil wouldn’t say it, he wouldn’t. “Well happens when you don’t come home for 5 months.” Crap he said it.

Bruce looked abashed and Pepper pinched his side.

“Did you like my sign Bruce?” Clint asked.

“It was wonderful.” Bruce reassured him. “Sorry, by the way. My phone died on the train and I ran into Betty at the station and lost track of time catching up.”

Phil opened his mouth but a glare from his wife shut him up. “There’s still plenty of food.”

Bruce ducked his head. “Actually, I’m just home to drop my bag off. Betty and a few others are going out and I thought I might catch up with them.” Clint frowned and stepped back.

“But…”

“I’ll spend all day with you tomorrow. Promise.” Bruce ruffled his hair and turned for the door.

“At least say hi to everyone.” Pepper asked.

“Sorry Mom, the cab is waiting. Back later.” 

Clint watched the door close. “What did I do wrong?”

Pepper hugged him tight and left him alone with Phil. Phil adored all his kids but had always been closest to Clint. Phil knelt. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But he didn’t stay to play.”

“He will tomorrow.” Phil reassured him. “He just is being 19. It’s hard to remember what things feel like for 9 year olds.”

“Okay.” Clint smiled. “Tomorrow will be lots of fun. I want to show him how good I am with my bow.”

“Best marksman in the world.” Phil said softly.

“Silly Dad, I’m 9. But one day.”

Kids went to sleep at various times, and at 11 Phil went to pull Tony out of his shed. And then Pepper went at 1130 and actually got him in the house.

“He’s your favourite. And you’re certainly his.” Phil said in their bathroom. Pepper spit and rinsed.

“We don’t have favourites.”

“Sure.” Phil went to their bedroom. Bruce still wasn’t home. “Since when does he socialize like this?”

“School changes people you know that. You remember.”

“Vaguely.” He sighed. “Getting old, Pep.”

“Hmmm, seem pretty spry to me.” 

“You get more gorgeous every damn day. And I get balder and somehow get more chest hair.” Phil frowned as he put on his pajamas. “I use to sleep naked and now I get cold.”

“I like the t-shirt and boxers, they are cute.” Pepper came over and kissed his jaw. “And there is the fun of getting you out of them.”

“Your skin is so soft.” He ran a finger over her collarbone and down to where the sides of her robe met.

“Because you spend a fortune buying me lotions.”

He smiled, watching her put lotion on at night was one of his favourite things. “Why are you here Pepper?” Phil had no idea why this was important to him right now, he should be bitching about Bruce.

“I’m here because a wonderful man, clever, sweet, and rather handsome man came up to me while I was in line and said ‘for the love of god don’t see that movie it is horrible go see the Disney feature instead’.”

“Ugh it was so pretentious and mean.” Phil complained. “And boring. I’m sorry Casino is not good - there I said it.”

“And I said fine then, so long as you go with me.” Pepper smiled.

“Toy Story holds up quite well.” Phil frowned. “Though Tony’s belief in it when he was 6 proved problematic.”

Pepper snorted. “Pour one out for Mr Potato Head.”

Phil held her tight. “Keep you forever if I may?”

“How is that even a question?” Pepper smiled and tugged at the t-shirt that had just gone on. He let her pull it off. She kissed his shoulder. “Kids are asleep.” She smiled and stepped back undoing her robe. Phil moved closer, pushing her back until she sank onto the bed. He knelt at her feet.

“I dream of your legs.” Phil picked up her foot and kissed her ankle. “You know what your shoes and suits do to me.”

“The fact that my I hate all of you power suit turns you on, is a glorious thing.” she leaned back on her elbows. “What you planning to do sailor?”

“Take my time.”

“Well good luck with that.”  They only get to take their time when they rent a hotel room for a night. But Phil always had hope. It was what she adored about him.

Sure enough he had barely worked his way up to her thighs when there was the barest knock on their door and Bruce’s head popped in, “Hey I’m - oh god.” Bruce covered his eyes. “You guys are old. Stop that.”

“Generally you should wait for the knock to be effective.” Phil grumbled from the ground. 

Pepper closed the robe still on her shoulders. “Have a good time, Bruce?”

“Yeah.” Bruce smiled. “Turns out Betty has organized a fall hike tomorrow with a picnic lunch. Should be a lot of fun.”

Phil tensed where he was on the ground. “You were going to spend the day with your brothers.”

“Yeah, but I promised Betty I would come.” Bruce said. “I can’t back out.”

“But you can back out on your family?”

“I’ll be back by 2, 3 at the latest, then all night and all tomorrow is for the family.” Bruce looked at his parents. “I just really missed her okay, and maybe this might fix things.”

Phil was fuming but Pepper smiled. “Of course sweetie, your siblings will understand. Good night.”

Bruce closed the door. Phil put on his t-shirt, mood ruined. “Clint is not going to understand. Like at all.”

He got under the covers and put his hands under his head. Pepper slid in next to him and curled up. “Maybe?”

“Virginia.” 

“It could happen.” Pepper closed her eyes. “Oh god tomorrow is going to suck.”

“So much.” 

They fell asleep and Phil had dreams of gods and superheroes and woke up screaming. 

“Phil?” Pepper sounded scared.

“Loki, stop him.” Phil gasped.

“Loki? Phil it is a dream.”

“Right that was 3 years ago.” He answered.

“Phil? Baby?” Pepper was cupping his face. “Focus on me, please, wake up properly.” she kept kissing him desperately.

Phil’s breath evened out. “I’m fine. Just weird dreams. I really am getting too old for reading comic books.”

“Go have a nice, hot shower, I’ll get coffee going.” Pepper held him close for a moment.

Phil just got out of the shower when he heard Bruce scream. He ran up to the attic room wearing only a towel. He got there in time to see Bruce’s flailing in his covers make him hit and knock Clint off the bed where Clint had jumped to wake up his brother.

“What the hell, Clint?” Bruce shouted.

“I wanted to see you.” Clint’s lip quivered. “I missed you.”

“Jesus Clint, can’t you give me some peace.”

Clint nodded and a tear fell. 

That was it. “Clint go help your mother. Tell her we should have banana pancakes.”

“Okay, Dad.” Clint stood up and wiped away a tear. “I’m sorry I made you not love me anymore Bruce.” He left the room, shoulders slumped.

Bruce rolled his eyes at the drama and finally noticed. “Dad you are in a towel.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Phil asked, holding the towel tight.

“Tell you what?” Bruce was confused.

“That you had a double operation, we would have held you hand.” Phil catalogued the 40 things that could be used as a weapon in the room before he remembered he had no idea how to kill a man with a paperclip.

“What sort of lame Dad joke is this?” Bruce sat up.

“Well the only reason I can image my compassionate Bruce sending his brother away in tears is because he both had his soul removed and a stick lodged up his ass.” Phil snarled. “He’s nine and has missed his hero, you couldn’t be kind?”

“I got like three hours sleep Dad. I was texting with Betty. I didn’t expect a missile right to the junk.”

“He’s been waking you up like that since he broke free of his crib.” Phil said. “And Betty the girl that made you skip on us yesterday and will make you skip on us today.”

“She’s Betty, Dad. Just because you can’t remember what love feels like…”

Phil looked at him stunned. “Did you just imply I have somehow stopped loving your mother?”

Bruce looked abashed. “No Dad, but you know at this point, what does it really feel like? It can’t match the -”

“Don’t finish.” Phil warned. “Pepper is everything to me, everything. You cannot fathom what I carry in my heart for that beautiful, fearless, flawed and perfect woman.” Phil shook his head. “You haven’t been answering their emails, or just brushing them off. Do you care at all about what Tony has been building?”

“Do you?”

“I have an office with framed blueprints that suggests yes.” Phil looked at Bruce. “Go. If this is the Bruce that came home, go out and spend it with the people you say are friends though you never hung out with them before. Your family deserves better than this pathetic creature you are.”

Bruce stood up, angry. “You don’t talk to me like that, I’m not a kid.”

“All I see is a weak willed child.” Phil stared Bruce down.

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, Phil.” 

Phil blinked and for a second Bruce looked 40 and then monstrous. Another blink and he was just his son again. “I don’t like you much right now period.” Phil left the room and went to get dressed.

Downstairs Pepper was pouring out pancakes and Clint was throwing fruit onto the pan and giggling. Pepper looked at Phil who shrugged helplessly. They all heard the front door slam.

“Who needs him if he’s just going to be a jerk, anyways.” Tony muttered. Natasha climbed up into his lap and hugged him.

Phil looked at them all, forlorn. “Adventure day.” he said. “If Bruce is going to be out, we can all sit here and be glum or go on an adventure.”

Steve looked up. “Whose turn is it to pick?”

“Oh no.” Phil said. “Today we break out the jar.” 

“Oooooh.” at least three people said.

Pepper started to chant. “JarJarJarJarJar!” and even Tony looked interested.

Phil reached into the cupboard and pulled out the jar that Steve had made in an art class. He handed it to Tony. “You pull out.”

Bucky started a drum roll, until he realized it hurt the broken arm. Clint and Pepper took it up and Natasha kicked the table.

Tony reached in the emergency fun jar and pulled something out. He grinned. It was his emergency family adventure desire. “Photo scavenger hunt at the national air and space museum. In costumes, with fake accents.” He had picked it when he was 12 and screw it, it still sounded awesome.

“You have that place memorized.” Bucky protested.

“Yeah, but I have a handicap, I get both Clint and Natasha and you guys can chose who gets Mom or Dad.”

“Mom, she does better accents.” Bucky said quickly.

“Fine. Dad is better at costumes.” Steve answered.

Tony tapped on his tablet. “A randomly generated list has been created of what we need to get photos of. It includes stuff at the museums, tourists, and us doing stupid stuff.” He swiped. “My team has to do...Russian accents while steampunk.”

“Boo, Natasha’s Russian accent is amazing.” Phil protested.

“Yeah, but Clint’s will be dire.” Pepper reminded him and Phil conceded.

“Mom and Bucky are British spies trying to pass as Americans.” Bucky actually laughed at that. “And Dad and Steve are stereotypical New Yorker time traveller’s sucked into the future from 1940.”

Tony clapped his hands. “You have two hours to pull together costumes. Go!” Everyone ran, breakfast forgotten, until Phil hurried back and turned off everything.

For a moment he saw the reflection of a giant blond man in the range but then it was gone. He needed more sleep. There was a lot of running around the house and shouts for help but eventually they seemed to pull it off.

And Natasha was adorable in her goggles.

They took two cars to the museum and set a time of three hours. 

They were kicked out after two. They all went for ice cream and Tony calculated the scores and Bucky and Pepper had won. There was applause and cheers and Phil gave Pepper a deep kiss to the groans of their kids.

“Tell you guys don’t want another one.” Bucky groaned.

“Nope, seen the medical records, we’re safe.” Tony said.

“Anthony Stark Coulson!” Pepper said, face turning a similar colour to her hair.

“We’ll replace you with a puppy next year.” Phil told Tony.

“Really?” Clint started bouncing in his seat. He paused. “Will you become a jerk when you go away too?” he asked Tony worried.

“Doubtful. Already enough of a jerk, data doesn’t suggest the levels will change that much with prolonged absence.”

“Okay.” Clint nodded. “Plus another year and I’ll be good enough with my bow to make you pay if you do.”

“I’ll design you some arrows before I leave.” Tony promised. “Fancy trick ones.”

Phil looked outside. “It’s gorgeous out, we want to walk for a bit, or head home?”

“Could we go to the good playground?” Natasha asked. Clint nodded eagerly and the older ones didn’t mind. They drove to the playground that had three different playsets and a skate park and all dispersed. Steve had an eye on Clint and Natasha so Pepper and Phil walked hand in hand around the small pond.

Phil heard his name being shouted and turned to look but no one was there. “You heard that right?”

“Hmmm?” Pepper asked. 

“Never mind.” He thought he saw that giant blond man trying to wave at him but it shimmered and disappeared.

“This was good.” Pepper said. “It distracted the kids and was fun. I always have fun with you.”

Phil kissed her head. “Same here.” He paused. “What’s the most fun we’ve ever had?”

“You remember.” Pepper laughed.

“Indulge me.” Phil asked.

Before Pepper could do so, Clint managed to fall down the small hill and they all decided to head home. They tumbled into the house laughing and trying to get Phil to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

“You did a jar activity without me?” Bruce was sitting at the kitchen table and stared at them in shock.

Tony smirked at him. “Well they are for family, so why wouldn’t we do it without you?”

Bruce looked horrified.

“I thought you would be gone longer.” Phil put Natasha down.

“I said I’d be back early afternoon.”

“You said you’d come home in August.” Clint said back.

“I was busy, with an important project. People are winning awards for it. It could change the world.”

“And the stuff I’m trying to build won’t?” Tony protested. “I’m working clean energy!”

“Wait, you are?” 

“The plans were in all those emails you replied to with ‘yeah that’s a neat toy Tony!’ We’re science bros. And you ignore that. We’re the brains, Bucky and Steve and the feelings and Clint and Natasha are the...well they are whatever they’ll be.”

“Delta.” Phil murmured, but no one heard him.

Bruce was looking sadder and sadder. “I’m sorry. I just got so busy and -”

“No and, we’re a family.” Tony slammed a hand down. “We work best all together. Look when Mom went on that 2 month business trip and how we fell apart.”

“You didn’t fall apart without me.”

“No but we sure as hell weren’t good without you.” Steve answered.

Bruce phone dinged and Tony just threw up his hands and went towards the back door. “Tony.” Bruce said softly. “Want to show me what you’ve been working on?”

Tony paused. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Bruce said. “I’m sorry. I am. I was a jerk.”

“King jerk.”

“Lord jerkington.” Bucky added.

“The Duke of Jerkshire.” Steve offered.

“Jerkface McJerkbutt.” Clint was proud of that one.

“Can I say it Daddy?” Natasha asked.

“Yes, Jerk is mean but not a swear.” Phil smiled at her.

“DoodyJerkHead.” 

“His Disgrace Jerk O’Jerkson.”

“Mom?” Bruce stared at her.

Pepper just shrugged. 

“Bruce.” Phil added. “The Jerk of Jerks.”

Everyone laughed, even Bruce. “After you play with Tony, you’ll play with me, right?” Clint asked.

Bruce picked him up into a big hug. “Of course birdie.”

“Right.. Well if you all want spaghetti tonight, I need to get to work. Shoo.”

“Maybe change first, baby?” Pepper pointed to his period clothes.

“Right.” Phil changed into sweats and started building a sauce. He could hear everyone talking and running about and Pepper came into get snacks for everyone and kissed his shoulder. 

“Your competence was the first thing I admired about you. That and the way you held out your hand for a bomb and they just handed it to you.”

“What the fuck?” Phil turned, but she was already gone.

“We met at the movies.” he whispered. “Toy Story.” But he could see the moment she was talking about, god she had been so brave for someone with no training. He always hated that Stark finally clued into how amazing she was as a person not just an assistant.

But Stark was their 16 year old son’s middle name.

He was losing his mind. The window rattled and there was that blond man pounding on it. He shimmered and was gone. Phil was going to take a couple tylenol and hope it helped.

When it was time for dinner it took all the kids to drag Tony and Bruce out of the work shed, just like old days. Bruce sat between Clint and Natasha, helping his sister with her noodles and asking Clint about school and sports.

It was a good dinner and then they all settled in for the family movie that they had wanted last night. Clint was draped over Bruce and Bucky was cuddling Natasha. Pepper winked and put her legs over Phil and he automatically ran his hand up and down her thigh. “Bruce you can pick.” Phil offered.

“How about...Brave?” the two youngest kids cheered. They all watched the movie and Natasha was put to bed despite her protests. 

Clint fell asleep 20 minutes into Steve’s pick of the original Superman movie.

Phil carried him to his room after making the older boys all promise not to stay up too late watching horror movies.

He tucked Clint in and decided to have a quick shower. Phil was humming to himself when the bathroom door opened. 

“Want some company?” Pepper asked.

Phil sucked in and said yes. Pepper opened the shower door and there was all that pale beautiful skin, and the constellation of freckles on her stomach that he loved. She reached out for him and a blood curdling scream came from the family room. They both grabbed robes and ran. Phil was really tired of this happening while he was wet. 

And of course it was the four boys being scared of the damn movie they picked.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think a movie about robots going rogue against their creators would be so terrifying.” Tony said.

Bucky looked ready to murder, eyeliner running a little and Steve looked torn between hiding and fighting. Bruce was breathing heavily.

“Don’t hulk out Banner, focus, calm.” Phil said.

“Dad?” Bruce looked at him and Phil crouched down and hugged him, rubbed his back. He never touched Bruce, always thought it was unwelcome, but maybe the big guy needed a few more hugs.

That was what Clint always said.

Phil looked at his amazing boys and for a second they were all so old and sitting in a different family room, more modern. Clint was twirling an arrow and Steve was so big. Bucky’s arm. He’d never say how relieved he was that the arc reactor was out of Tony’s chest.

Then they were his kids again.

“I think it is time for all of you to be in bed.” Pepper suggested.

“Moooooommmmmmmm.” A chorus complained.

“Bruce leaves tomorrow at 3, we’ll want to do lots before then, and that means sleep now. He’s always running away from the family, we have to remind him why he comes back.” Pepper kissed his head. “Tony needs you more than he ever needed me.”

“I need you, Mom.” Tony protested.

She snorted. “Sure to take care of your helpless ass, but I don’t fill the cracks the way Bruce does.”

Phil smirked a little at her matchmaking and then threw up a little in his mouth that he just had that thought. Especially when he followed it up with thinking that Bruce would be great with Clint.

They went up to their bedroom and finished getting ready. Pepper lay her head on his heart. “I cried when you died.”

“It was only a few seconds.” It was days.

“I hated when we found out.”

“I didn’t want it like that.” Phil promised.

“I never told you how fond I was of you.”

“I wished you were mine, could be mine from the third time we talked. But you were so out of my league. The inimitable Pepper Potts.” Phil held her close. Something was slipping away.

She yawned. “You could ask you know. Ask me to be yours.”

“How do I compare to what you’ve had?”

“Phil,” Pepper looked at him. “You are nothing less than amazing. And also ridiculously cute in your glasses. I’m developing a quiet kink for your glasses.”

“Go to sleep.” Phil said and he kissed her head. He held her close and breathed in the scent of her. He didn’t want to let go, but every time he opened his eyes, the room changed, not a suburban parent’s room, but more a spartan space, a bachelor’s space. And then back again.

He got out of bed and couldn’t quite explain why but he put on a suit. One at the back of his closet, black. Phil leaned down and kissed Pepper’s hair. “I’ve loved you for so long.” he whispered. “I would love you forever.” she turned in her sleep and with a last look he went down to the kitchen and opened the back door. He sat at the table and waited.

It took a few times before the blond man stopped phasing in and out. God he was massive and strode into their kitchen in armor, a hammer in his hand.

“Coulson, you see me now?”

“I do.” Phil looked at him. “Are you death?”

“No, I am your friend.”

“I seem to be losing my mind.” Phil looked at him. “I just want my family safe.”

“Your family is safe. We are safe.” the man promised. “This is naught but -”

“A dream?” Phil asked.

“Of a sort. You have all been dosed with heavy magic. We have been working to pull you out of it.”

“How long?”

“Two weeks. All of you are in your medical ward to insure you stay alive.”

“So how do we wake up?” 

“One of you has to break the magic, see its falsehoods. Verily I expected it to be Tony to notice the cracks.”

“He was happy to have the quiet, I guess.”

“Why did you see?” Thor asked, curious. “Can you guess?”

“Because I was never meant to have this much happiness.” Phil smiled sadly and the big man looked distraught. “How do we fix this?”

“Deny it Son of Coul, walk away from the enthrallment.” Thor suggested. “Walk away with me.”

“Will we remember any of this?”

“I cannot say.”

Phil stood and adjusted his tie. He looked at Natasha’s art on the fridge. A portrait of their family. He doubted he could take it with him. He walked out of his house and kept walking, not looking back. It hurt, got he could feel something straining, trying to pull him back.

He wanted to go back.

His bickering boys. He took another step forward.

His little Natasha. Another step forward.

Clint, a happy Clint. He felt himself falter a bit but kept pushing.

Pepper. Beautiful Pepper. Phil stumbled. He could go back and have her. But she wasn’t, it wasn’t her. That was the wrong way. Phil stepped forward. “I reject this lie.” he said softly. And the world shattered around him.

He opened his eyes and heard the beep of medical machines.

He closed them again and tried not to cry from the loss of such a dream.

******************************************

They didn’t talk about it, Phil had no idea if the others remembered the dream world they were pushed into and he didn’t ask. It took them all a couple weeks of eating and exercise to get close to normal. No one, not even Tony, made a dad joke again.

It had of course been a magic bomb from another world, because the universe hated Phil. He found it difficult to look at the team, he could remember them as his babies. He had no problems admitting he was running away and took a mission to Brazil with May and her team.

When he returned he found Clint camped out on his couch. Phil dropped his bag and sat beside him. They watched tv and drank a beer and didn’t say a word. 3 hours later Clint got up. At the door he didn’t turn around. “We would have all been lucky to have you for our dad.” He left without a goodbye.

Phil cleaned up the table and saw on the fridge a copy of the drawing little Natasha had done. He traced a finger over it and sighed. It was time to let go of the dream.

There was a knock on the door and he shook his head, Clint always forgot something but it usually took him a day or two to notice.

“You idiot, what’d you leave behind?” Phil asked as he opened the door.

“I’m not sure I’ve actually been here before.” Pepper said. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was in jeans that made her look even taller. “Can I come in?”

Phil shook his head. “Sorry, of course you can. I thought you were Clint.”

“Oh.” she looked sad. “That’s...um good. That you two are...that must have made the experience awkward.” she was clutching a small gift bag.

It took Phil a moment. “No. Oh god no, he’s Clint. He’s not, we’re not, he’s just Clint.” He repeated himself.

“He was your favourite.”

“Parents don’t have favourites.” he said automatically. He gestured to the couch. “Are you doing okay?”

“All things considered.” Pepper shrugged. “Suppose there could have been far worse magics to get thrown at us.” she smiled. “And I have these small memories of young Tony, it’s fun to torture him with those.”

“Is he okay?” 

“He is, everyone is. You’d know that if you hadn’t run away.” she chided gently.

“It was too hard, needed some space to put everyone back in their places, so to speak. I was scared I’d tell Natasha it was bedtime.” Phil tried to joke.

“What if everyone doesn’t want to go back to their places, to where they were before?” Pepper bit her lip.

“I don’t understand.” Phil was unsure. 

Pepper took a breath and handed him the bag. He opened it and there was a blu-ray of Toy Story. “I heard from someone important that it is a far better movie than Casino. And I thought maybe they’d want to watch it with me.”

Phil put the bag and movie down on the table. He turned and cupped her face. “You were a lovely dream.”

“I’m not a dream.” she said quietly. “I’m right here.”

Phil kissed her. It was soft and new and yet a little familiar. He leaned back. “I would very much like to watch Toy Story with you.”

Pepper smiled beautifully and Phil kissed the corner of it.

***************************************

The Avengers were all bickering about what movie to pick. Pepper was sitting on the counter and Phil was between her legs and they were ignoring everyone and kissing. 

“Oh god, will you two please stop?” Tony groaned. “That’s how we get another kid.” 

Everyone paused, it was the first mention anyone of them had made about the magic.

“If we’re going there, can Pepper help me with not creepy eyeliner?” Bucky asked.

“So long as you don’t steal the good stuff from her.” Phil said without thinking.

“Jeez Dad, relax.” Clint joked for the first time in months.

“See if I let you pick the movie now Clint.” Phil said sternly.

“You’re always the favourite.” Tony muttered sticking out his tongue at Clint.

“Awww sweetie, you’re my favourite.” Pepper promised Tony.

“Fine, Merida can pick.” Tony sunk onto the sofa, and blushed a little when Bruce snuggled in close. And even more when Clint joined the two of them, sitting at their feet.

“Thanks, Tony and Brave is a great idea.” Clint smiled as everyone groaned. They all started bickering again.

Phil leaned a little more into Pepper, “What are we going to do with them?” he whispered.

Pepper tilted her head down and kissed his nose. “I vote we run away while they are distracted.”

“Smart ladies are so attractive.” Phil helped her hop down and they slipped away before anyone noticed.

  
The nice thing about reality versus the dream world, is that JARVIS made sure they weren’t interrupted at the wrong time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Father's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a request on tumblr to add a little extra fluff here. Maybe something about the Avengers celebrating Father's Day. So here you go.

Clint was super stealthy and a careful planner. "Hey Pepper can you distract Phil for a couple hours?" he asked. It was a genius complex plan he created there.

"I think I can do that. When?"

"Uh right now?" Clint smiled. Pepper didn't like things that weren't in her appointment book. "Swear I didn't blow anything up and this will be to his benefit. It's a surprise." She just kept staring at him. "Please?" 

She shook her head. But it was fond. "Two hours. And none of you make jokes about the state he's in when I return him to you."

Oh, jeez. He thought she'd take him to a movie. Phil was coming back with hickeys. Gross. Dad's shouldn't have hickeys. 

Crap, Phil. He was Phil, not Dad. But that was what this secret meeting was about. "Yes mom. I mean ma'am. Pepper, I meant Pepper." Clint pouted. Everyone else had switched back fine but he was still having problems.

Pepper kissed his cheek. "It's all okay, sweet one."

That absolutely didn't make him feel all warm and happy. But time to focus. Pepper left to go to unspeakable things to Phil. He had Avengers to assemble.

Only once they were assembled and looking at him, he couldn't form the words. "Hi. How you all doing, come here often?" Clint hung his head.

"Okay then, great talk. I'm going back to the lab." Tony started to get up.

"Father's Day is this weekend." Clint blurted out and Tony sat back down.

"So?" Tony asked. "I mean I'm pretty sure at least half of us would like to piss on our Father's graves and I suppose we could use that as a team building exercise."

"Tony." Natasha warned. She looked at Clint. "How bad for you?"

"Real bad." he admitted. "Since Loki, my memories..." he drifted off. "It's really hard for me to separate what was the spell and reality. I know he shot me and brought me in 15 years ago." he shrugged. "And I also know that when I was four I tried to ride Bucky's two wheel bike because I didn't need training wheels dammit and fell and he kissed it better and gave me an extra ice cream sandwich before dinner."

"He looks at us, when he thinks we don't see." Bucky added in. "It's different. The affection, it's different. More. But he tries to hide it."

"What do you propose?" Bruce asked. He and Natasha had the easiest time adjusting, because the memories worked differently. Bruce had been away at school so there was just less backstory implanted into his brain, and Natasha had been aged so young, it was all feeling and not memory.

"We let him know he matters." Clint offered.

Tony snorted. "Agent knows he matters."

"Then why have you been ignoring him?" Steve countered. 

"Haven't, just returned us to normal." Tony smiled. "He'd find it weird if I was completely nice to him."

Steve gave him a disappointed look. "He'd be embarrassed if we made too much of a fuss."

"I know, but a bit of a fuss. Maybe a nice card, a couple gifts, we make him breakfast?" Clint paused. "That's what they do on sitcoms for Father's day."

Natasha nodded. She agreed that showing Phil appreciation wasn't a bad thing.

"It's stupid, he wasn't our dad, it was all a joke." Tony said.

"Fine don't take part then. But that guy is my damn family and I'm going to let him know it." Clint snapped. They glared at each other until Tony stalked off.

"It's cliched, but I feel he would actually like a tie for Father's day." Bruce said into the silence.

Clint laughed a little. "He would."

The rest of them began to plan.

**************************************************

"Good morning." Pepper said to Phil as he slowly woke up. One of the things she never expected was how the always alert agent woke up so slowly. If an alarm or certain ring tone went off, he was out of bed like a shot, but otherwise she would have worked out and read three reports before he so much as rolled over.

"No such thing." Phil grumbled into his pillow.

Pepper cuddled up to him and wrapped herself around him as the big spoon. "Well there are things that can make it a good morning." she whispered and bit his ear lobe a little.

"I'm listening and intrigued by the promise of your proposal."

"Oooh so sexy when you use corporate speak." Pepper slid her leg along his. "Tell you what, how about we -" 

Clint dropped in from the ceiling. "Oh god are guys getting freaky again? Stop that."

Phil threw a knife at him that Clint easily dodged.

"I said no more weapons in the bed." Pepper protested.

Phil looked at her. "You were serious about that?"

"YES!"

"Oh." Phil and Clint looked at each other. "Huh." they both said a little confused.

"He has it down to four, if that helps Pepper." Clint smiled sure he had made it all better. "Anyways, hello."

"It's Sunday Clint. We all agreed I could sleep in on Sundays." Phil yawned. "We have it written down somewhere. Also knocking, it's a thing. I've told you that a million times kiddo." Phil always slipped up more when sleepy and talked like they were his children. It didn't help that Clint acted like a 9 year old regularly.

"Yeah, I know, but there was an incident in the kitchen. We need your help."

"No you don't." Phil countered. He was comfy.

"Pepper." Clint whined and gave her puppy eyes.

"He'll be there in twenty."

"Perfect."

"Vile betrayer." Phil protested. "And leave through the door Clint." 

Clint took the hint and went through the door. 

Phil immediately snuggled back into the bed. "Hey!" he shouted when Pepper goosed him.

"You have to shower."

"You were serious?" Phil frowned. "I thought you were just getting rid of him."

"I would never lie to Clint. That would set a bad example." Pepper poked him again. "Go shower and see what they need."

Phil sighed but got out of bed and managed to get to the communal area in the time Pepper had promised. It was actually smelling good and not on fire.

"No Bucky, we don't need more bacon."

"There's never enough bacon." 

"Three strips is enough each."

"But Natasha always steals mine."

"You have a bionic arm, use it." Steve was merciless. "I think I over stirred the pancake mix." He held up the spoon and most of it came up as a lump.

"I have some here." Bruce offered a bowl perfectly stirred. 

"Pan's ready." Clint said waving a burned finger around.

Phil went and got an ice cube and rubbed into over Clint's finger. He started to bend his head to kiss it better, but stopped. He coughed a little. He looked around the kitchen and saw all the gifts at the end of the table. "So what's all this then? I know I didn't forget a birthday."

Natasha stopped cutting up fruit and lead him to the chair and pushed him into it. "Stay." 

He stayed. He couldn't figure it out though. The team were all bickering as they cooked together and Pepper came in and sat quietly beside him. "Is it an anniversary or something?" she asked.

"I have no idea." he poked at one of the packages and Steve caught him.

"Not until after breakfast and we can all watch." Steve said. "You leave your gifts alone." Phil pulled his hand back. At least it was confirmed all this was for him. It was confusing.

A plate was put in front of him with a smiley face pancake. Phil stared at it. "I made you all smiley pancakes."

"We know." Bucky sat with no bacon mouth, because Natasha had indeed stolen it. "It's the one thing we all agree on remembering. Dad made us smiley pancakes on special days. With whip cream if Mom wasn't looking."

"Well, you all put too much on for breakfast." Pepper protested automatically. "Not sending you to school that hopped up on sugar." It was rare for her to slip up like that. "I mean missions." she ate a blueberry off of Phil's pancakes.

Phil was lost. "I don't understand."

Clint was sitting on the other side of him. "Happy Father's Day." he said quietly.

"Oh." Phil was not going to get choked up. He decided to eat the face in front of him. 

The Avengers all smiled to each other, pleased that they hadn't poisoned him. They all ate quickly, the team anxious for Phil to open his gifts, Phil to avoid having to speak.

Bucky whisked the plate away and Clint nudged all the gifts closer.

Phil stared at the small pile and could feel Pepper rub his back a little. 

He opened the card first, which sang obnoxiously. "Thank you Clint." It was easy to see who would have picked it. But they had all signed it. Well almost all, Phil was well aware of Tony's absence. 

Clint nudged the gifts again and Phil opened the purple box first. It was a tie covered in tiny little arrows, black on black and the light needed to shine on it for it to be really noticeable. "It's gorgeous." Phil said and Clint bounced in his chair a little.

Natasha had got him a history book, Bucky a gun holster, Bruce a coffee mug, and Steve had found an old propaganda photo and signed it.

Phil sat back in his chair. "These are all fantastic."

None of them would admit how happy that made them.

"Really, thank you for this. It's too much." Phil couldn't stop himself and reached over and pulled Clint into a hug. Clint hugged back. 

"Movie marathon?" Natasha idly suggested.

"Not it for cleaning." Clint shouted and bolted from the room. The Avengers all quickly followed him. 

Phil looked at Pepper a little helpless. "You have some good kids there." she gave him a gentle kiss. "I'll deal with the dishes, you go to them."

"You'll come right?"

"I will." Pepper promised. "I'm just going -"

"Tell him, it's okay." Phil smiled. "It's okay he didn't take part in this."

Pepper nodded and shooed Phil to the family room. Pepper dealt with the mess and went down to Tony's workroom. "We're going to watch movies all day, you are welcome to join us." she took a good look at him. "Oh Tony. You didn't sleep did you?"

"I'm fine." Tony waved her concern off. "Go make heart eyes at your boyfriend."

Pepper just settled in more. "I'm fine making worried eyes at you. I don't like when you don't sleep. You've been doing better on that."

"He's not our dad." Tony put down a wrench.

"He knows that. We all know that." Pepper leaned against a wall.

"So why do all this? It just messes our heads up more, the memories that aren't real are given more space."

"I think for Clint, some of those memories blend with feelings that were already there. They've known each other a long time."

"Yeah, okay, I can get it for Legolas, and even Natasha, those three have a joined at the hip, hive mind thing, but the others?" Tony shook his head. "What's their deal, they've known him less time than me."

Oh. Pepper realized something. "You're jealous. You think he likes all of them better than you."

Tony stilled. "Nope. Wrong."

"Clint is his favourite, always will be." Pepper said. "That won't change. But that doesn't mean he doesn't worry about you constantly."

"Sure, worries about Iron Man." Tony was gripping the table tight.

"No. Worries about you." Pepper came over and hugged him. "He has a Tony file."

"Yeah I know SHIELD does, I've seen it. They have crap security."

"No, he has a personal Tony file, I've seen him update it. Notes about your sleeping patterns and food. He is the reason you have that stocked fridge in here with all your favourites magically appearing. He consults with JARVIS on your mood and has all these books on PTSD with notes on what would help you or not. He asks me to check on you, does all these little things to make sure you are okay, because you are you. Not because you are a superhero."

"He threatens to taze me all the time."

"And you make his life endlessly difficult. But he's never tazed you once. And I've seen footage of him directing Hulk to take a missile meant to hit you." Pepper kissed his cheek. "He loves you just as much as all of the kids."

Tony nodded a little. "Does he hate I didn't get him anything?"

"Not even a little. But I bet you'd make him happy as all get, if you came up and hung out with everyone for a while."

"Maybe, after I finish this." Tony aimed for and missed casual. 

Pepper nodded and left him be.

A couple hours later, Tony made it up to the room where everyone was vegging out and watching some old movie. Bucky was grinning widely, so it must have been his pick. 

Tony went over to the couch and sat in the space that Natasha had given up saying she was going to make popcorn.

"Hey Tony." Phil said easily not taking his eyes off the screen. "Have fun down in your workroom?"

"Yeah." Tony watched the movie. "Made you a thing. Or adapted a thing." It was small, really the size of a dollar coin. But it looked like Captain America's shield. "Like the widow bites. Throw and it will attach to what it lands on and send one heck of a jolt through them."

Phil held the tiny shield in his hand and looked at the back to see the small button that would course the electricity through. "This is really clever Tony. Thank you so much." He put it on the coffee table carefully. "Going to come in handy at some point."

Tony shrugged. "It's nothing."

"No it isn't, son, it isn't at all." Phil protested. "It's wonderful."

Tony still wasn't used to that sort of praise from an authority figure, from a father figure. "Whatever."

Phil smiled a bit and draped his arm over the back of the chair. He dropped it a little to give Tony a shoulder squeeze and then pulled back.

Clint was less subtle and threw himself at Tony in a giant hug and kiss. Tony pushed him off with a laugh and threw a cushion at him. 

"Oh it is on!" Clint shouted and everyone started throwing pillows.

Pepper watched them all from the doorway, watched the giant smile on Phil's face as his kids played.

She took a pillow to the face. 

"Sorry Mom." Bucky shouted. But he didn't sound that sorry.

Clint had been right, it was so on and she dove into the fray.

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Bruce but he is kind of a jerk in this fic, basically because the magics had no idea how to handle his hulk side.


End file.
